Useful Extras

How To Write Your Eulogy


Writing A Eulogy


The eulogy is a special speech which honours your loved one. It is an important part of the ceremony. Writing your speech is something to involve other family members in to get their contributions. 


The content is personal to you and your family. It is normally a chance to remember the happy times in the life of your dear loved one. Some people like to include humorous stories as well, but whatever you write it is best to speak first to all of the immediate family members. 


Delivering a eulogy can be a very difficult task to undertake due to the emotions you are feeling on the day. If you feel overwhelmed on the day, you can always delegate the eulogy to the main celebrant, minister or another family member or friend.


  • What Can You Include in your Eulogy?

    There are no strict rules. It is up to you and your family or friends. As a guide, choose at least 4 or 5 main points about the loved one:


    • These could be life events, things people would remember them for or their particular qualities or achievements. 
    • Why were they a special person and in what ways?
    • What were the highlights of their life?
    • Was there anything really incredible or fascinating about their life or accomplishments?
    • What challenges did they overcome in their life? 
    •  You can ask family members and friends for any stories they might have. 

  • The Eulogy’s Structure And Style

    Some of the considerations you have for the structure of your eulogy are:

    • Is the style informal or more formal?
    • Can you make it humorous to lighten the mood of the ceremony?  It can be very helpful to people who are struggling with emotions to bring some humour to the occasion. 
    • Start with an introduction and then choose the 4 or 5 main points or topics. 
    • Cover each point step by step.
    • Have a conclusion which sums up the main points 
    • Include quotations, poems or anything else which truly represent the departed loved one. 

  • Delivering the Eulogy at the Funeral

    Here are some useful pointers for the day itself:


    • We advise you to practise the eulogy a number of times before the day to workout the timing and feel confident at reading it.Y
    • When you deliver the eulogy, look around the congregation and focus your eyes above people’s heads. By looking around you make people feel included and by looking just above their heads your concentration will not be distracted by eye contact. 
    • The length of the eulogy could be anywhere from five to ten minutes. Don’t make it too short or too long. People might think you haven’t put much thought into it and the family might be upset. 
    • As stated before, if you feel too emotional on the day, you can tell one of  the team members from Barthram’s and they will ask the main celebrant to read it. The main celebrant always keeps a copy of the eulogy in case this happens. 


Funeral Poems


Poetry can be a very beautiful and powerful way to say goodbye. It can express emotion, love and honour for your loved one. A funeral is a very important milestone in life and verse can be a magical testimony to remember the departed person in an inspiring way. It can also be a great comfort to those grieving to hear sweet verse.


Here is a selection of poems for you to read on the day. Feel free to choose a poem which captures the essence of your loved one or the feelings you wish to convey. It could even be a poem or reading which they liked themselves. 


  • The Life That I Have

    The life that I have 

    Is all that I have 

    And the life that I have 

    Is yours 

    The love that I have

    Of the life that I have 

    Is yours and yours and yours. 

    A sleep I shall have

    A rest I shall have 

    Yet death will be but a pause

    For the peace of my years 

    In the long green grass 

    Will be yours and yours and yours. 


    Leo Marks


  • ROADS GO EVER ON

    Roads go ever ever on,

    Over rock and under tree,

    By caves where never sun has shone,

    By streams that never find the sea;

    Over snow by winter sown,

    And through the merry flowers of June,

    Over grass and over stone,

    And under mountains in the moon.

    Roads go ever ever on

    Under cloud and under star,

    Yet feet that wandering have gone

    Turn at last to home afar.

    Eyes that fire and sword have seen

    And horror in the halls of stone

    Look at last on meadows green

    And trees and hills they long have known.

    Roads go ever on and on

    Out from the door where it began.

    Now far ahead the Road has gone,

    Let others follow it who can!

    Let them a journey new begin,

    But I at last with weary feet

    Will turn towards the lighted inn,

    My evening-rest and sleep to meet.


    J.R.R. Tolkein


  • Irish Blessing

    May the roads rise up to meet you,

    May the wind be always at your back,

    May the sun shine warm upon your face,

    May the rains fall soft upon fields

    And until we meet again

    May God hold you in the palm of his hand.


  • Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

    Do not stand at my grave and weep

    I am not there. I do not sleep.

    I am a thousand winds that blow.

    I am the diamond glints on snow.

    I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

    I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

    When you awaken in the morning’s hush,

    I am the swift uplifting rush

    Of quiet birds in circled flight.

    I am the soft stars that shine at night.

    Do not stand at my grave and cry;

    I am not there. I did not die.


    Mary Elizabeth Frye


  • She is Gone (or He is Gone)

    You can shed tears that she is gone

    Or you can smile because she has lived

    You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back

    Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

    Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

    Or you can be full of the love that you shared

    You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

    Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

    You can remember her and only that she is gone

    Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

    You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

    Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.


    David Harkins


  • Angel

    Tear drops, slow and steady, The pain so real and true,

    God took another angel, And that angel, dear, was you.

    Angel wings, upon the clouds, Your body softly sleeps,

    Hush now little angel, No more tears you have to weep.

    Little prayers are sent to you, The short life you led;

    Your family will never forget you, So rest your little head.

    I know God will look after you, Now you are truly alive,

    Your spirit soars beyond the moon, Your legacy will survive.

    You’re beautiful, you’re endless, Now stretch your wings and fly,

    You’re loved by so many, It will never be goodbye.

    Close your pretty eyes, No more tears, just go and rest,

    Let your soul lie peacefully, We know you did your best.


    Anon


  • All is Well

    Death is nothing at all,

    I have only slipped into the next room

    I am I and you are you

    Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

    Call me by my old familiar name,

    Speak to me in the easy way which you always used

    Put no difference in your tone,

    Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

    Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

    Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

    Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,

    Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.

    Life means all that it ever meant.

    It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.

    Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

    I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,

    Just around the corner.

    All is well.


    Henry Scott Holland


  • I am Free

    Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free,

    I’m following the path God laid for me.

    I took His hand when I heard Him call,

    I turned my back and left it all.

    I could not stay another day, to laugh,

    To love, to work or play.

    Tasks undone must stay that way

    I’ve found that peace at the close of the day.

    If parting has left a void,

    Then fill it with remembered joy.

    A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss,

    Ah, yes, these things I too will miss.

    Be not burdened with times of sorrow

    I wish for you the sunshine of tomorrow.

    My life’s been full, I savoured much

    Good friends, good times, a loved one’s touch.

    Perhaps my time seemed all too brief,

    Don’t lengthen it now with undue grief.

    Lift up your hearts and share with me,

    God wants me now, He set me free.


    Shannon Lee Moseley


  • Funeral Blues

    Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

    Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,

    Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

    Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.


    Let airplanes circle moaning overhead

    Scribbling on the sky the message "He is Dead",

    Put Crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

    Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.


    He was my North, my South, my East and West,

    My working week and my Sunday-rest,

    My noon, my midnight, my talk , my song;

    I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong


    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;

    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,

    For nothing now can ever come to any good


    W. H. Auden


  • On Death

    Then Almitra spoke, saying, We would ask now of Death.

    And he said:

     

    You would know the secret of death.

    But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

    The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

         

    If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

    For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

    In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

     

    And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

    Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

    Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.

         

    Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

    Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

    For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the  sun?

         

    And what is it to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

         

    Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

    And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

    And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance


    Kahlil Gibran


Contact


Reach us by phone or email to ask any questions. 

Northallerton (Main Office)

22 Brompton Road,

Northallerton

DL6 1EA



Tel: 01609 777255


Hutton Rudby (Chapel of Rest)

5 The Wynd

Hutton Rudby

TS15 0ES


Tel: 01642 700244


Email: barthramfs@hotmail.co.uk

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